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Monday, May 30, 2011

Hey! You! Get Out of My Way! Part 11 Leaving Home

I return to the runaway shelter and life returns to my “new normal.” My mornings are spent taking the bus to Stuyvesant Plaza, getting picked up and driven to school.

Few people know what I am going through and I try to keep it that way. I have never been a very good student in school and this makes it even harder.

I come home from school one day to find that Donna is waiting for me. Ushering me into the office she explains that Parsons Child and Family Center has a bed for me and I am going to be moving into one of their group homes. The only problem is that the house that has a spot for me is in Saratoga.  “This is good news,” she says “You will have whole new life to look forward to.” I explain that I looked forward to fixing my old life. I’m worried, I don’t know anyone in Saratoga and I will be starting school there in the middle of my junior year. “Mrs. Vanderbilt -Whitney lives in Saratoga,” Donna reminds me. “Am I living with her?” I ask.

Donna tells me that there is no other place for me to go and that this is the best thing for me. Standing up she motions with her hand for me to leave the office and that our talk is over. I have four weeks left at the shelter before I will be moved, so it’s time to say my goodbyes.

I go into the kitchen and find Jay T. Tucker stuffing a chocolate cupcake into his mouth. He looks up at me and smiles. “Well old friend,” I say sitting next to Jay T. “It looks like my time is up here.” Jay T. starts to tell me that he has left the shelter two previous times and has been returned.  “Is that because you’re a mean mother fucker?” I ask. He laughs cupcake onto the table. He pushes himself back from the table and stands up. “Jay T. Tucker is a mean mother fucker,” he sings “And a mean mother fucker is he,” I add. He starts to pound on his chest. “Jay T. Tucker is a mean mother fucker,” he sings “And a mean mother fucker is he,” I add again. Now we begin to march around the table in rhythm to our new song. “Jay T. Tucker is a mean mother fucker,” he sings and points at me “And a mean mother fucker is he,” I sing back. Round and round the table we march when Laroy walks in the room and joins in.

Now the three of us are marching around the table singing “Jay T. Tucker is a mean mother fucker and a mean mother fucker is he.

That night in the TV room I get to meet some new kids who will be living at shelter for a couple of nights until they figure out what to do with them. There are two of them. One of them will be staying in my room and one will be staying in the hall across from me. The kid who will be staying with me is named Tom and his friends name is Alex. It turns out that they are both runaways who arrived from Buffalo. They got picked up by the police at the bus station when they spent the night sleeping on the chairs. When questioned they didn’t have any bus tickets and refused to talk about their families. After a day, the police brought them here.

Tom and I stayed up late and he told me all about his life. Alex snuck across the hall and joined us. I told them to stand at the top of the stairs where you can hear Laroy’s snoring coming from the office. If you can hear it, then the coast is clear. The rule is that once “lights out” is called, everyone needs to be found in their own room. No one challenges any of Laroy’s rules.

The next couple of days at school are strange. I tell only my closest friends that I will be leaving and living in Saratoga. It is too hard to explain and I find that saying goodbye is very tough for me.

I come home two nights later and Donna is waiting for me in the office again. She introduces me to a woman who is creating a brochure for the shelter and wonders if I would like to create the cover. I am over the moon and I am told that I only have 2 days to do it in. I get to work right away.

Three nights later a news station comes to the shelter to do a story about what they do and Donna asks me to be a part of it. The news channel doesn’t want to show my face but they get a shot of my cowboy boots walking down the sidewalk and into the front door. I am now the poster child of the runaway set, except I never “ran away.”

To be continued……..

Geoffrey Doig-Marx holds all written and electronic rights to his writting "A Day in the Life". It can not be reprinted in part or whole without his written consent.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Hey! You! Get Out of My Way! Part 10 Leaving Home

Two weeks pass in a blink of an eye. I am now standing out in the hallway at Child and Family Court in Albany New York. My parents are at one end of the hall and I am standing alone by myself at the other end. Donna and the lawyer have gone in search of the women’s bathroom.
My mother looks at me her eyes all red from crying. It might be for real but I’ve seen this before. She looks in my direction and shakes her head; her pain has come to the surface. I am not moved but wonder why she is playing this card. It is clear that she needs to look like a mother who has done everything and look where it has gotten her.
Donna and the lawyer hurry back, Donnas’ heels clicking on the marble floor. Seeing where I am standing, the lawyer takes my arm and pulls me out of view of my mother. We enter into the courtroom. The judge is a large man who stares down at me; his glasses sit at the end of his nose. He looks at me and smiles. “How are you doing today?” he asks. “Fine,” I answer, afraid to look at him in the fear that I will be sent to jail. Donna has explained it to me a million times that this is a hearing so I can move into a group home. I need to be declared an Emancipated Minor, in order to be granted custody.
The whole hearing takes about twenty minutes. My mom through sobs and tears explains that she has done her best but that I am a menace and turning her house into an emotional shambles. We both decide it is better that I don’t return. The judge shakes his head as my mother finishes. I’m sure that he has seen many an emotional parent standing in front of him and can tell what is really going on.
It has always seemed weird to me that I was adopted because they “wanted” me and now I am being “thrown away” because it is not working out their way. So many things happened in that house and under that roof. I remember one night when I came home, my mother sat me down to wait for my father to get home. When he did arrive they told me that they thought I was gay. It was going to be their job to take me to therapy to “fix me,” this lead to so many fights. Once, I even jumped out of my father’s moving car on the way to meet the therapist and ran into the woods.
Standing in front of the judge got me to wondering where I would now be going. My life as I knew it would be changing. Donna took me and the lawyer out for ice cream after the hearing. I didn’t watch my parents walk out of the courtroom.

To be continued……….

Geoffrey Doig-Marx holds all written and electronic rights to his writting "A Day in the Life". It can not be reprinted in part or whole without his written consent.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Hey! You! Get Out of My Way! Part 9 Leaving Home

For the next several months I settle in to life at the Equinox shelter. I rise early in the morning, eat and take the city bus into Guilderland. The stop is located 45 minutes away at a strip mall called Stuyvesant Plaza.
Once I arrive, Kerry meets me and drives me to school, she will then take me back at the end of the day. Kerry does this day in and day out, never once asking for anything in return. I am happy and have very little stress in my life. I haven’t been fighting with anyone and the constant battles with my mother seem to be in the past.
It is now the six month mark and me and Jay T. Tucker are the only ones from the original group to still be living there. My social worker Donna has been trying to find me a permanent home but it has not been as easy as you would think. According to them, I’m not a problem child, so it will be harder to place me. One place that sounds good to Donna is Parsons Child and Family Center. Their main headquarters are located in Albany.
One day Donna takes me over to look at their school and their facilities. The main buildings for the center are located off of New Scotland Avenue. As we climb out of Donna’s car she tells me that Parsons has group homes in both Albany and Saratoga and an independent living center just in Albany.
We are let into the building by security. There seems to be security guards posted everywhere. One guard walks us down long hallways that have looked doors and each end. There is more security posted in front of them. So far this does not seem like the kind of place I want to be left at and I look at Donna. She seems to be as nervous as I am.
We are then lead into the director’s office. She is a large woman dressed in drab blue. I guess she thought that black might be to dowdy for this institution. She smiles at us and I feel that it is just for show and she seems more uncomfortable doing it, then we do seeing it. I feel that Donna and I might as well be Hansel and Gretel.
She motions for us to take a seat with a sweep of her hand. Pulling out the chair I read the name plate, her name is Margaret. Noticing that I am reading her name plate, she smiles again. My stomach drops. “I have read all the notes in his file,” she says looking at Donna and leaning back in her chair. “I think that this might be the perfect place for him.”
Donna smiles and asks when a bed would be ready. Margaret reaches across the desk and opens a large black ledger book. She flips the pages furiously. “In about a month.” She says. Donna and Margaret discuss formalities. “Is he a ward of the state?” I hear her ask. “At this time he is but we have registered to make him an emancipated minor, and luckily that hearing takes place in front of the judge in two weeks.”
To be continued……….

Geoffrey Doig-Marx holds all written and electronic rights to his writting "A Day in the Life". It can not be reprinted in part or whole without his written consent.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Hey! You! Get Out of My Way! Part 8 Leaving Home

Walking back into the kitchen I can hear Donnas booming voice calling my name. I quickly head down the hallway to the main office. “Have a seat,” she says motioning with her hand. A lone chair has been set up for me. It looks like I am about to be interrogated.
“I have to go through a couple of things with you.” She pulls a pen out of her hair. “Starting with, what to expect from us and what we expect from you.” “One of our first goals is to become a liaison between you and your parents.” “What can you tell us about them?” she prepares to write. “Well once,” I say my voice breaking “my Mom took me to a recruiting station to have me join the Army when my Dad was at work.” “How old were you?” Donna asks her eyes getting big. “Fourteen I say.” She sighs and pushes forward. “What happened?” “Well,” I say trying not to well up with tears. “First they said I was too young to enlist but they would wait and then out of fear I bolted for the door.” Donna blows air out of her mouth and shakes her head. “Later I got grounded for trying to run.”
Donna is holding a legal pad and she begins to tap it with the pen from her hair. “How is your relationship with them now?” “Not good,” I say. “Well, my Mom and I didn’t get along at all. She used to take me to a therapist when I was younger but when they told her that she was the problem she looked for another therapist.” “How many therapists have you seen?” Donna asks “Oh, about six or seven.”  Donna squint’s her eyes.
“What happened last night?” Donna says trying to change the subject.  “Can we talk about that later?” I ask, tears start to well up in my eyes again. “Of course,” she says. “I’m going to call your school today and we will figure out what we are going to do with you.” She smiles and I give her all the information on who she needs to call at my school. It seems like our interview is over for a moment and she picks up the phone to and calls information to get the number to Guilderland High School.
Sitting in the chair, I am a little worried; we had started rehearsals for the school show. We are doing Brigadoon and I landed the role of Harry Beaton. They gave me an understudy because it was pretty clear that I was going through something at home. I will be damned if he will get to do the part but the show must go on.
I see that Donna is on hold with the school. Placing her hand over the receiver Donna tells me to wait outside. I nod and walk into the hallway. The house seems empty and quiet now that everyone has gone to school. It looks like I will have the day off. I climb the stairs and head into the TV room. I am the only one home so the TV is off. The rest of the staff is moving through the house. Everyone seems to be in the middle of projects. Lorraine is wearing yellow rubber gloves and carrying a toilet brush. She keeps pushing her glasses up with her forearm in between scrubbing. “Are you bored?” she asks. “Want to help clean the toilet?” she waves the brush at me. “No thanks,” I say and continue down the hall.
I walk into the entryway that houses some of the bedrooms and find a chair to sit in. Throwing my legs up I lay on my back and stare at the tin ceiling. Pretty soon, I am out cold. It’s not long. I wake up about twenty minutes later to Donna calling my name. I sit up still feeling groggy as I head back down the stairs.
“Well, I just got off the phone with your school; they are wondering how we can make this work.” Donna sighs, “Maybe we will have to send you to Albany High.” I hear Christine’s comments about being not being raped in the bathroom making it a good day at Albany High. “I can make it work,” I say, the panic rising in my voice. “Ok, well let’s see what we can do.”
That night I call my friend Kerry. She was worried about me and what happened. “It’s all over school that the police were at your house last night.” The only plus is that Kerry knows my parents. It was hard because I was never allowed to have friends over but Kerry would always pick me up in her car and drive me where I needed to go. It seems that I was always in trouble and always grounded when I lived at home. In many ways Kerry saved my life that day by offering to help out. The plan is that I will take a bus from Albany to Stuyvesant Plaza and then Kerry will give me a ride to school.
The next day Donna thinks that this is a great idea.
To be continued……………

Geoffrey Doig-Marx holds all written and electronic rights to his writting "A Day in the Life". It can not be reprinted in part or whole without his written consent.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Hey! You! Get Out of My Way! Part 7 Leaving Home

I look over at Jay T. who is still stuffing his face. “She’s a bitch,” he says through a mouth full of egg.

“Are you Geoff?” someone asks behind me. I turn around and standing in the door is a large woman dressed all in black. Her hair is piled on top of her head; she has glasses on a chain hanging around her neck.
Taking two steps forward she pulls out a chair and plops down into it making cups on the table jump. Jay T. is oblivious to her and stares at the chandelier; the sun is making a light dance around it and he is transfixed by it. She has a cup of coffee in her hand, she takes a spoon and swirls it around the inside of the cup making an obnoxious clinking sound. “Donna is my name and I’m your new social worker.” I think to myself that I never had a social worker before, so she will be my only social worker. “I have already started a file on you, so finish up and we’ll talk.” Her eyes get real big and while grabbing a piece of bacon off my plate she pushes out her chair and stands up. Popping the bacon in her mouth, she turns and walks in the direction of the office. Her large hips sway side to side. “She’s a bitch,” Jay T. says with a laugh spitting more eggs into the air.
I drink my coffee and push away from the table. I’m not hungry but I want to check out the backyard. I saw it through the window in the kitchen. From what I saw, it’s part garden, part basketball court. I walk out of the dining room through the kitchen into the backyard. The garden is a little overgrown and the basketball court is a black gravel driveway and that used to be blacktop.
Standing behind the house I see that Christine is out in the backyard smoking. Her nervous eyes dart back and forth, she looks lost in thought. She spots me walking down the driveway towards her and hugs her body closer. She has thin white arms. Raising her cigarette to her lips she mutters to me and asks if I want one. It seems to me as if she is going out of her way to make some sort of effort. “I would love one,” I say.

She shakes a cigarette loose in the pack and offers in to me. “Rough night?” she asks. There is red around her eyes making me believe that she cried the night away. It also seems pretty clear to me that Vinny hasn’t let her know about him trying to skull fuck people before they sleep.
“Yeah,” I say putting the cigarette between my lips. It’s a Marlboro light, my favorite. Christine holds up a lighter. I lean forward and use it to light my cigarette. “Do you go to school?” I ask. Christine’s laugh in response to my question creates a smoky cough. Covering her mouth with the back of her hand she hacks up phlegm and spits it on the ground. “I go to Albany High, if you can call it a school.” “If you make it home at the end of the day and you haven’t been raped in the bathroom, it’s been a good day. She laughs again spitting up more phlegm. “Oh shit,” Christine says as Lorraine opens the back door popping her head out. “Christine let’s go, it’s time for school.”
“Gotta go,” says Christine as she takes two steps before flicking her cigarette over the fence into the lot next door. Walking past me, Christine’s face changes and a big grin appears. She is looking towards the house. I look where she is looking and I see that at the window is Vinny. He is standing behind the glass. Once Christine walks into the house she gives Vinny a quick kiss. Once Christine passes, Vinny sticks his head out the back door, stares at me puts his fingers to his eyes and then points at me. I assume this means that “he is watching me.”
He turns and walks back into the house. I finish my cigarette and flick it over the fence like Christine did and walk back into the house.
to be continued.............

Geoffrey Doig-Marx holds all written and electronic rights to his writting "A Day in the Life". It can not be reprinted in part or whole without his written consent.

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